3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
