This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
