some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
