And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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