So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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