Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
