Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
