you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
