put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
