So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
