Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize