my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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