I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
BRING THE BAGELS
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
