i was born a porn star she said
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She's the barista slut.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
