My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
