ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She needs sedatives and a leash
When did angry sex become our thing?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
