The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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