And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
