I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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