the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
