Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Someone shattered a urinal.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
