Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
