What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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