I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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