Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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