You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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