I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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