I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
