we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
