so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
