I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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