I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
