so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
