:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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