There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's official drugs can't kill me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
