I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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