after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
