I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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