i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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