I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
