Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
