I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
