so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
