Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
