Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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