This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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