it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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