Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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