have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
