I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
