All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
